So we've gone through the problems of walking to the swimming pool for a lesson. But hey - that is a breeze compared with the living hell of the BUS JOURNEY. If there is one thing that you would never want to inflict on anyone, it's the prospect of sitting with a class (or two) of children heading towards the swimming pool on the school bus.
Why is this so bad? Well, where shall I begin.
There is of course the stage before even reaching the bus. The actual act of getting bags and coats together for every child can prove to be more difficult than trying to program Deep Thought to find the answer to the question of life. I mean, how can it be that when the class are lined up outside the classroom you still have to check every child and still have to ask those questions;
- Where is your coat
- Where is your jumper
- Where is your swimming kit (how on earth can a child forget to pick up their swimming kit when they are going swimming???)
And then of course you get to the bus, (assuming that it has actually turned up at the school to take you to the pool). And what a bus it is. I look at it and it reminds me of the buses that I used to catch into town when I was a child. Why does it remind me? Because it is the same thing. It's a retired public transport bus, sold to a contract firm and put back into use as a school bus.
Peeling paint, broken windows, chair seats falling off. What luxury!
The children get on and sit down, the belts are pulled on and then we're off. With rattles, crashes and bangs we head to the pool. No air conditioning on a hot day, no heating on a cold day. Could you ask for anything less?
Of course once at the pool, you are then at the mercy of the bus driver. Because he doesn't hang around at the pool. He's off to another school to pick up another lucky class. And if he's late back with those, then guess who doesn't have a lift back to the school. Yep, you got it! Standing outside in the snow, rain and cold wind after a swimming lesson with wet hair is not ideal.
Now the journey back to the school is the ultimate travel experience. 30 children with the smell of chlorine oozing from their hair, the windows steaming up, boys with their can of deodorant that they have just sprayed on them wafting up and down the bus, and girls with their perfume mixing with the other smells to produce a truly unique aroma.
Could there be any other disasters that a swimming lesson could bring? Oh yes, and they will be written about soon...