When you lose a garden ornament, you kind of expect not to see it again. You really don't expect it to reappear 7 months later, complete with a photo album of where it's been.
Watch the extraordinary journey that Murphy the Gnome went on.
Brilliant - whoever did this is a genius! OK, maybe not a genius because they stole the Gnome to begin with, but in the end the Gnome went back home, and the result is fantastic!!
Great news! Pringles are not crisps. It's official. A judge has said so because they don't have enough potato in them.
Why great news? Because not being a crisp, they are now not subject to VAT - so that means that their price should be dropping in the shops. :-)
I see that in Venezuela 'The Simpsons' has been taken off their TV screens because it has been deemed "inappropriate".
Nothing that funny about that I hear you say. Well no, there isn't. It's what's been put on in its place that makes me laugh.
- Baywatch!
So, no more cartoon yellow guy, just a bunch of swimsuit clad females running in slow motion along beaches instead.
And yes I can see how that would be much more suitable now.
So the Olympic torch is on its way to London as it makes it way to China ready for the games. However, there seems to be a bit of a problem with the clash of politics and sport. I read with interest that the French President is considering boycotting the games opening ceremony, and that many of the torch bearers are wondering whether they should carry the torch or not.
Well, there's no need to worry because this problem is going to go away itself. How do I know this? Simple really, the torch is making it's away across London towards the O2 arena. At the end of this journey, just send it to Heathrow and into the new joke that is Terminal 5. It will never be seen again. It will disappear into the bowels of the luggage sorting area and just vanish like everything else has before it.
Problem solved!
Have you seen the one about the penguins that can fly? Saw it on the news this morning and had to do a double take. It looked so real until they were soaring through the air.
Mind you, on the day when you take everything with a pinch of salt, this webpage lists ten new stories that you would have sworn were hoaxes, but worryingly they're true!
Oh dear! I didn't hear this when it happened, but I was fortunate enough to hear a replay later on.
Hundreds of listeners have contacted BBC Radio 4 after newsreader Charlotte Green dissolved into giggles while reading a bulletin on Today.
She lost control after playing a clip of the oldest known recording of the human voice.
"I'm afraid I just lost it, I was completely ambushed by the giggles," said Green.
I heard that recorded clip too, and I was reduced to hysterics too. What a garbled, incomprehensible sound it was. It could have been anything that you wanted it to have been! Listen to her reporting.
First there was the book, then came the film, then it seems like the entire world wanted to go explore the places themselves. Of course I'm talking about Dan Brown's work of fiction, the Da Vinci code. Now another researcher has gone one better with the painting of the last supper.
Computer technician Giovanni Maria Pala found that by drawing the five lines of a musical staff across the painting, the loaves of bread on the table and the hands of Jesus and the Apostles could each represent a musical note.
"The notes make sense musically when the resulting score is read from right to left, following Da Vinci's own writing style, Mr Pala said in his book La Musica Celata (The Hidden Music)" he claims. Full report here.
Oh, and whilst on the theme of Da Vinci's painting, have you tried the 16billion pixel online version that you can zoom into and pan around?
Australian doctors have kept an Italian tourist alive by feeding him vodka through a drip for three days, medical staff in Queensland say. The 24-year-old man, who had swallowed a poison in an apparent suicide attempt, was treated while in a coma. Doctors set up the drip after running out of medicinal alcohol, used as an antidote to the poison. Medical staff said the patient had made a full recovery, and the hangover had worn off by the time he woke up. He had been taken to hospital in the northern Queensland town of Mackay after swallowing ethylene glycol - a poison contained in anti-freeze.
"The patient was drip-fed about three standard drinks an hour for three days in the intensive care unit," Dr Todd Fraser said in a statement. Fortunately for him he was in a medically induced coma for a good portion of that. By the time he woke up I think his hangover would have well and truly gone."
He spent 20 days in hospital before being discharged.
A website which promotes a fictitious tourist beach in Cornwall is receiving thousands of hits after becoming a cult internet joke. The hoax suggests Porthemmet offers warm seas, dolphins and a coral reef. But anyone following directions to the fake paradise is in for a shock - they would end up leaving the county. The website appears to be encouraging tourists to the non-existent destination of Porthemmet - "the largest beach in the county...designated a Site of Amazing Natural Beauty". In this "unspoilt paradise", police officers never patrol the beach as "the local council decided that they distress elderly locals" and beach parties are often visited by some of Cornwall's most famous musicians. A sight-seeing ship takes people to a nearby puffin colony and shows off a coral reef.
it reminds me of two other virtual places; Oldton and Methtintdour, and leaves me wondering just how many more are out there...
Not often you get to hear about people doing strange things to get themselves an iguana, but this week there were two seperate stories!
Firstly, the woman who tried to smuggle an iguana through Blackpool airport by hiding it in her bra. It was discovered when a police officer
noticed something was moving under the woman's dress.
And secondly, a Californian man has been charged with using his
false leg to smuggle three endangered iguanas from a nature reserve in
Fiji to the United States. Hopefully the leg never went walking off on its own.
A man was caught vandalising hanging baskets after a video of him in the act was posted on the internet and spotted by an off-duty policeman.
The film of [removed name], tearing down hanging
baskets on a walk home in Chatteris, Cambs, was posted by friends on
networking website MySpace.
The police officer recorded the video, called "Skeggsy destroying Chatteris in Bloom!", and went to see the offender.
[ He ] was issued with an £80 on-the-spot fine for criminal damage.
Cambridgeshire Police Insp Robin Sissons said: "People have to be careful if you are playing around. "Don't forget that the police also watch the internet and sites like MySpace."
From the BBC;
A grandmother won second prize in a cake-baking contest at a fete, only to discover she was the only entrant. Jenny Brown, 62, entered her Victoria Sponge into the competition and was initially pleased to have come second.
But she was left shocked when a friend revealed to her that she was the only person to take part.The contest was organised by the Wimblington Sports Committee and judges marked down the cake because it had indentations from the oven rack.
Ms Brown said: "My friend came over to me at the fete and said I had come second. "I asked her how many more entries there had been, but she just started laughing and said I was the only one. "I definitely wasn't annoyed about it."
Although the cake was not deemed fit to win the competition, Ms Brown said it was soon polished off with no complaints. Julie Dent, from the Wimblington Sports Committee, said: "The judges had an expectation and I suppose they didn't feel as though it qualified for first place. "This was the first year but the cake competition will become an annual event." She said her own baking was subject to another strange decision. "About 11 years ago I entered a show with some fruit scones. I was the only entrant but I came third."
So it was a Friday afternoon, which meant art, which meant portraits as that was the topic.
Previously the children had learnt how to draw their own face (with the help of a mirror, and a lot of patience from me).
Phrases such as "are your eyes really on your forehead" / "have you got a nose on your chin" / "don't you have any hair covering your forehead" / etc had been frequently uttered in absolute despair as they produced what I thought at first were classic Picasso style images.
The latest lesson involved introducing paint (a chorus of "whoooo" went around the class), followed by a discussion why there was no pink paint in the pallete tray. Finally the answer "we don't have pink skin "was suggested - but only after a lot of prompting.
The task of this lesson was to mix white with traces of yellow / orange / brown to create a skin tone very close to their own. They could test this by putting their hand next to their creation and compare. Simple. Maybe not...
A few minutes into the lesson and one of the boys is asking for mirror. "A mirror?" asks the teacher. "Yes. ", he replies, "I want to see the colour of my skin."
Obviously this child does not consider his hand to contain any colour at all. Bizarre!
The Royal Canadian Mint has unveiled a monster
gold coin with a face value of C$1 million (455,000 pounds)
that it says is the world's biggest, purest and highest
denomination coin.
At the size of a large pizza, at least it should be easy to spot if it falls down the back of the settee!!
Residents in north London believe they have found one of the shortest yellow lines in the country in their street.
The 18-inch parking restriction in Highbury Crescent in Highbury is just about long enough to fit one wheel. More.
In chemistry you may come across Boyle's law, in life generally Sod's law often affects you, and Newton's laws are somewhat important too, but there is the little known law, known as the educationalists law, that affects a large proportion of the population.
Basically this law is useful for predicting what the day before a new term begins will be like.
e = ((d/w)*s)*x2/(1/a)
d = days away from school
w = weeks away from school
s = sun level
x = workload
a = anxiety constant (can be anything between 1 and 100)
e = depression level
The higher the value of e, the worse you feel! In other words, the better the weather the worse you will feel on the day before term. The more planning you have to do, the worse you will feel on the day before term, the more anxious you are the worse you will feel on the day before term... Or, to put it simply, the day before term is always the best weather day, where you have the most work to check has been completed, and you worry the most.
Well it's now five minutes past midnight, and so we've started a new month.
Over on the BBC website they've changed their headline banner;
They didn't waste time did they? How many more will I see today...
Posted under humour, not because of the initial event, but the company's handling of it.
Taken from The Independent;
A British Airways passenger was refused compensation and told by the airline to "get over it" after a corpse was placed in the row where he was sitting last week.
...a businessman from Northamptonshire spent more than £3,000 for a first-class ticket from Delhi. He awoke during the flight to find that cabin staff were propping up a dead woman almost next to him. "The stewards just plonked down this body without saying a thing," he said. "I remember looking at this thin, sparrow-like woman and thinking she was very ill."
The woman had been in economy class when she died soon after the plane left Delhi. "She kept slipping under the seat belt and moving about with the motion of the plane," Mr Trinder said. "When I asked what was going on, I was shocked to hear she was dead."
Mr Trinder, who was kept on board the plane when it landed and questioned by police and a coroner, contacted British Airways to complain, but was told to simply "get over" the experience.
British Airways says the dead woman was taken into first class because the rest of the plane was full. "When a customer passes away on board it is always difficult and we apologise for any distress caused," a BA spokesperson said.
Mr Trinder remains unimpressed. "I just kept thinking to myself: 'I've paid more than £3,000 for this'."
I can't help imagining the Fawlty Towers dead hotel guest sketch in an aircraft. Well, at least now I know how to get myself into first class if ever I fly BA.
A motorist claims workmen lifted up her car and moved it onto repainted double yellow lines so they could mark the road under her vehicle.
More of this unbelievable story here
I had to laugh when I read this news story as it was so bizzare;
A US man who threw a mouse onto a pile of burning leaves could only watch in horror as it ran into his house and set the building ablaze.
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, found the mouse in his home and wanted to get rid of it.
"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the
fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," he was
quoted as saying by AP.
Though no-one was injured, the house and everything in it was destroyed.
"I've seen numerous house fires, but nothing as unique as this one," Fire Department Captain Jim Lyssy said.
New Mexico has seen several major blazes after unseasonably dry and windy conditions which have destroyed 10 homes and devastated more than 53,000 acres (21,200 hectares) of land.
From the BBC;
Bank sorry for 'insult' cash card
A high street bank has said sorry to a customer after sending him a debit card containing the words Dick Head
NatWest said it had launched an inquiry after Chris Lancaster, of Essex, received a cash card with the
wording: "Mr C Lancaster Dick Head".
A NatWest spokesperson said on Wednesday: "We have apologised unreservedly to Mr Lancaster."
The spokesperson added: "This is completely unacceptable and we have launched an investigation."
The Solo card was a replacement for one Mr Lancaster had lost.
He said he saw the insulting words as he was about to
hand over his new card to pay for goods in a supermarket and was so
embarrassed he put the card back in his wallet.
As well as apologising, he said NatWest had promised to pay him compensation.
Another bizzare story...
Australian police are investigating how and why homes near Sydney have been bombarded by dead chickens.
Residents in the city of Newcastle believe the birds may have fallen from an aircraft or been fired by pranksters using a slingshot.
Full story here
The great thing about the Internet is that you can find the most bizzare real stories so easily. Tonight, I found yet another;
A bride has chosen her dog to be chief bridesmaid at her wedding
Sonia Wilde, 29, will walk down the aisle in Stockport, Greater Manchester with the Collie cross, Lucy Brown, at her side.
The three-year-old will even be dressed in a pink frilly dress and bonnet for the service at St Matthew's Church...
Full story can be read here
Hot on the heels of the Australian fire engine used to get a pizza, comes this;
A lieutenant has been disciplined after using an Army helicopter to deliver a pizza to his girlfriend.
The incident on 25 January saw the unnamed officer divert from a routine training flight over Stanford, Norfolk, to take the fast food.
Fire engine, helicopter...Whatever is going to be used next to get a pizza?!
Saw this on the web tonight and it made me smile;
...Sydney firemen were reportedly unable to answer a call-out because their fire engine was being used by a firefighter to collect a pizza.
"Apparently [he] decided to take the pumper to a pizza shop... for a bite to eat," an officer wrote in a letter obtained by local media.
The man concerned is then alleged to have met some friends and taken them for a ride in the fire engine.
The incident is said to have taken place at the suburban Maroubra fire station.
I'm guessing it didn't take long to get it back, and was still warm on arrival.
